Standing On My Own
by JLynn26
Summary: Takes place right after London Calling. Songfic about Jude trying to make it alone


Takes place right after the final episode. The lyrics are from 3 Doors Down, Landing In London.

Obviously I don't own the song or the show….enjoy.

_**I woke up today in London**_

_**As the plane was touching down**_

_**And all I could think about was Monday**_

_**And maybe ill be back around**_

The plane finally came to a stop and I took a deep breath. Here I was in a brand new place all alone and ready for everything that should come my way, but all the while second guessing whether or not I made the right decision. I mean I said it myself in a song one time, _"just because I want someone when I'm alone, doesn't mean I'm helpless that I cant stand on my own." _But I needed this, I needed to be on my own, I'm 18 and have never really been on my own, and not only was I doing it, but I was doing it in a completely different country. Maybe that was the scariest part, being far away from my dad, my sister Sadie, my best friend Jamie and everyone else that had always held my hand and pushed me along. I guess he is a big factor in that. Oh who am I kidding I gave him my heart a while ago and I have yet to get it back, and for the most part I don't want it back…I love him, I miss him, but I cant need him right?

I get into the limo and head for my new home, _mine_, how amazing is that? I never imagined my dreams would all come true, that I'd be playing music for a career, I'd fall completely in love, lose a friend, get so close to Sadie, see my parents get divorced, and learn this much in the short amount of time I have. The last 5 years have been incredible, and at times painful, but they just kept getting better, I mean I'm a _Rock Star_.

I get to the already furnished house and start to unpack. I get to a box that is in a corner of the living room by the fireplace. It's filled with pictures I start placing them on the mantle and the tables next to the couch. There's one of me, my mom and dad and Sadie from before the divorce, and one of me and SME, oh I miss those boys. One of me and Jamie from right before I went on my first tour, and then one from my first record release party. Its me and Tommy he is looking at the camera with his arm around me and I'm looking up at him and smiling. We had just finished the album and everyone was celebrating when Kwest took the picture. An hour later me and Tommy were fighting in the alley because I dug into a part of his past that he didn't want to face yet.

I guess that's how me and Tommy are, we fight, we make up, we kiss, we love each other unconditionally, and sometimes all that can be in the span of 15 minutes, yeah we are that good. It was never easy with Tommy and I think that is what made it so hard to walk away. I don't want to think about him right now, I don't want to second guess myself. Maybe I should unpack some other time its late, and I'm tired.

_**And when the night falls in around me**_

_**I don't think ill make it through**_

_**Ill use your light to guide the way**_

_**Cause all I think about is **__**you**_

I barely get any sleep so I will definitely be needing coffee, now I have to figure out where to get coffee. I have so much to do, and yet I woke up the same way I went to bed, thinking about Tommy. I want to call him, tell him I'm sorry, and that I miss him and can't stop thinking about him, but I won't. My thoughts are interrupted by the phone,

"Hello."

"Hey Jude, how is my favorite sister doing in London?" Sadie asks in her cheerful voice, it used to bug me but I miss it.

"I am just fine, a little lonely but the house is incredible, you really need to come see it really soon not kidding. You'll love it, but you know me have yet to unpack anything more than um one box." I tell her laughing.

"Yeah that's how you are, by the way I would love to come see you, and Dad says hi and that he loves you."

"Well tell him I love him too and I'll call him later, um Sadie, are you at work?" I ask her not really wanting to ask her what I really want to know.

"Jude time difference, no I just woke up and am going to be heading to work soon, why don't you call him and let him know you made it, I'm sure he wouldn't mind hearing from you, well I know he wouldn't mind."

"Sadie I cant, not yet, its really hard. I'm sorry lets just talk about something else. How is the plans going for 'World Instant Star'," I ask her trying to move past Tommy talk. I just wish I could stop thinking about him.

"Oh you know Darius is crazy, Kwest still hates me, and you're in London, you know I am pretty lonely myself," she says kind of laughing. I know she is trying to make light of the situation. But I can tell she is still kind of upset about the Kwest thing.

"Sadie you should talk to him, you know work it out. You two were so good together, and you really loved him."

"Oh yeah okay Jude I'll talk to Kwest when you talk to Tommy."

"Okay point taken I get it, we suck don't we?" I ask her laughing at my statement. Not that we suck we are just quite a pair right now.

"No we don't Jude, but I have to get going I miss you sis, take care okay and call me soon okay?"

"I will I miss you too Sadie, thanks for calling." I hung up my phone and I immediately miss her. Maybe I just miss being around another human right now. This house is really lonely. I sit down at the table and stare at my phone. I pick it up and hit the 2 on the speed dial.

"Hey you've reached Tommy Quincy, I'm busy so leave me a message and I'll call you back." Great, voicemail awesome….

"Hi Tommy…its..um Jude. Look I know I'm probably not you're favorite person right now, but I wanted to let you know I made it, and I've started to unpack, kind of. Anyway I was just thinking about you, not that I have stopped in a while. Okay I miss you, and I love you, and I don't expect that to ever change. Take care of yourself Quincy and don't be a stranger. Love you…always. Bye."

I do love him, and I already called….does that make me weak? Maybe I just need his love and support, I mean with the right people supporting you, you cant go wrong.

_**And all these days I spend away**_

_**Ill make up for this I swear**_

_**I need your love to hold me up**_

_**When its all too much to bear**_

QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ

Tommy's POV

I listen to the message and I save it, just in case I need to hear her voice again. I miss her like crazy and I could not deny it if I tried, trust me people would see right through that. I close the phone and lean back in my chair and look through the glass at nothing. Nobody is here yet, and I like being alone in the studio when I need to think. I do the only thing I can think of…

"Miss you too girl, you are always my fave. Love you, be strong." Then I hit send and close my phone again. Its going to be a long day….

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Back to Jude

I smile at the message and put my phone down and go upstairs for a shower. I get dressed and get ready to head out for some coffee and to go grocery shopping. I step outside and am ready for my future. I know I have all the right people supporting me, and I know I've said it before but I can do this, I WILL do this.

I can stand on my own and I will, and one day it will get easier. I cant lie, I'm going to miss Tommy for a long time and maybe even always love him, but right now, my life is unknown and I want to live it and see what happens. This is exactly what I need.

_**And when the night falls in around me**_

_**I don't think ill make it through**_

_**Ill use your light to guide the way**_

_**Cause all I think about is **__**you**_

That's it for my first story ever….what did you think.


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